WARNING: David do not read!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or if you do, please don’t take it too seriously! ;-))
Any of you blog followers (are there actually any???) who know me well will know that I am completely and utterly cynical towards the matrimonial state and truly despise all children, who I don’t even consider worthy of the status as “human being” until at least the age of 21.
So can someone please tell me the hell why I’ve recently been dreaming repeatedly of weddings (and yes, by that I do mean my own) and mothering children who I actually… do rather quite like – WTF?????? I suppose the wedding ones can be at least partially explained by my recent attendance of my step-brother’s big day, but the baby ones on the other hand are not only inexplicable, but certainly a most unwelcome intrusion into my waking hours!! That said, I did have one dream recently where rather than rearing human babies, I actually found my calling in opening a puppy and kitten farm instead, where I spent my working days just playing with cute baby Labradors and Persian Blues – far more up my street than changing shitty nappies and cleaning up sick, that’s for sure!!
Time to start watching some of good old Miss Jo “It’s Not Ass-ep-tikle” Frost, ‘Brat Camp’ and re-reading my favourite devil child literature ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’ (highly recommended, btw) to remind myself on what am definitely not missing by actively choosing not to reproduce!!
Any of you blog followers (are there actually any???) who know me well will know that I am completely and utterly cynical towards the matrimonial state and truly despise all children, who I don’t even consider worthy of the status as “human being” until at least the age of 21.
So can someone please tell me the hell why I’ve recently been dreaming repeatedly of weddings (and yes, by that I do mean my own) and mothering children who I actually… do rather quite like – WTF?????? I suppose the wedding ones can be at least partially explained by my recent attendance of my step-brother’s big day, but the baby ones on the other hand are not only inexplicable, but certainly a most unwelcome intrusion into my waking hours!! That said, I did have one dream recently where rather than rearing human babies, I actually found my calling in opening a puppy and kitten farm instead, where I spent my working days just playing with cute baby Labradors and Persian Blues – far more up my street than changing shitty nappies and cleaning up sick, that’s for sure!!
Time to start watching some of good old Miss Jo “It’s Not Ass-ep-tikle” Frost, ‘Brat Camp’ and re-reading my favourite devil child literature ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin’ (highly recommended, btw) to remind myself on what am definitely not missing by actively choosing not to reproduce!!
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Nothing wrong with kids, you were one once. Maybe your subconscious has realised the error of your ways and is crying out to be vindicated by you becoming a mother of a good old fashioned brood of at least 10 kids. You know the good old 3 k's from German? Either that or your destiny is the cat lady from the Simpsons.
ReplyDeleteI think to be honest you would be a cool mum and your kids would love bringing their mates home as life with you is never dull.