I Love You Robert Pattinson!!!

Oddly enough considering my other half is currently volcano-bound at my side, I've now officially had two adulterous dreams concerning my other, as yet fantasy boyfriend (the divine, sublime, gorgeous, beautiful Robert Pattinson - naturally) in as many days...

Oh joy of joys, in this last dream I noticed him sitting looking disarmingly gorgeous at the bar in the same hotel I was staying in at the time, and approached him (justifiably nervous considering his god-like perfection and my by comparison decidedly hum-drum looks), only to hit it off and soon find myself introduced to his band of (almost but not quite as) hot, buff, James Dean look-a-like, older brothers. Well, to cut a long story short, my friends hooked up with his brothers etc, with myself miraculously landing the star prize - much to my own delight and amazement, obviously.

Things took a turn for the bizarre, however, when among the brothers, their girlfriends, and their merry band of inevitable teenage groupies, a strange fad of dying one's face green à la Shrek for some reason inexplicably took hold. Unfortunately, as dying one's skin a whiter shade of pale centuries ago led to incurable mercury poisoning, so too did dying one's skin green via a coloured form of crystal meth lead to permanently stained skin and social leprosy outside of a select group of fellow Shrek-faces. But if RPatz was doing it, I was obviously going to do it too, same as when he asked me to stop taking the Pill two days after meeting so we could have a baby together - despite my own personal reservations as to this rather premature turn of events.

After that it all got a bit convoluted, with my brother somehow also getting in on the action (he's not at all gay in real life, but the Pattinson pack's seductive charms apparently drew even him in), my step-brother getting engaged to one of the groupies and having a wedding cake in the shape of his face, and my mum quite vocally disapproving of any of the above at all...

But I don't care as I LOVE ROBERT PATTINSON, even if it does mean unwanted pregnancies and dying my face green!!!!!!!!!